Quantum of Solace - James Bond

James Bond broke into a cold sweat. He’d just survived a Quantum of Solace after a blistering car chase, rooftop chase, aerial chase and an incomprehensible climax. But nothing had prepared him for this terrifying moment. The spy with the license to kill looked down helplessly at his shoes. Somebody had tied up his shoelaces together and now he couldn’t walk! The British secret service had taught him everything and armed him with the most wondrous gadgets… but how does one deal with shoelaces? Bond called up M. But she was having a haircut at Aalim’s. So 007 sat in despair, reminiscing the last four decades of his amazing career…
It all began with Sean Connery as James Bond, who seduced women with appalling names like Honey Rider, Kissy Suzuki and Pussy Galore! He was this famous secret agent with incredible knowledge of women and wine. In fact, Bond could not only tell you the vineyard and year but also the name of the girl who stomped the grapes!
But all that food and wine took its toll and James Bond’s car was seen tipping on two wheels in Diamonds Are Forever - not because of his daredevil driving but due to his weight! However, before Connery retired, the hunt for a new Bond resulted in George Lazenby having an incredible 90-minute career On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.
Maybe, because, at six feet three inches, he’s the tallest Bond and the only one to kneel and shoot in the gun barrel opening!
So Roger Moore became James Bond - at 45! In other words, at an age when most people go through midlife and midriff crises, Bond was bedding women young enough to be his daughter! Moore was 58 when he retired, but by then he’d made 007 so light-hearted that the series became too lightweight and in danger of being blown out of business.
Thus Timothy Dalton was summoned. But the Shakespearean actor with a Hamlet hangover insisted on holding the skull of the villain in his hand and saying, “To beat or not to beat, that is the question!” So they replaced him with Pierce Brosnan, who was so handsome that even his enemies started having a crush on him! That’s when craggy Craig stepped in. He’s arguably the best Bond after Connery.
But right now James Bond is just as shaken and stirred by his tangled shoelaces as he’s by the story of Quantum of Solace!